Once upon a time in Hamlet Court Road, the Temu version of Mos Eisley...

Barry the fence* decided to go legit.

Which in his terms meant stealing all the clothes recycling bags on bin day, taking what he wanted, then running the excess down to Cash 4 Clothes.

It was going pretty well, he had some nice threads, the crime rate diminished somewhat, Cash 4 Clothes were quite literally cashing in. Until he got caught on camera robbing the clothes donation bank at the local Mosque.

Oh dear.

He couldn’t go anywhere. All his favourite shops were run by attendees. He had strangers start on him, got thrown out of... everywhere, and even chased down the street. Apparently he can shift pretty quick for someone with less meat on him than a vegan sausage.

Anyway, after a week of this, he’s a broken man. He had to go apologise to the Imam and beg him to make everyone stop.

I don’t know whether this is a lesson in the power of community, or why you shouldn’t steal shit.

I do know it was bloody hilarious.

*Fence - chief thief. The one who middle-mans the stolen shit.

The only prohibition order I've ever seen that has to be in landscape to fit it all in.